So, last Thursday (October 6th), I went to Ms. Betty's to pick up Mellie. The "split" door was engaged as there are several "runners" (children who will run out the door when they can) and of course Ms. Betty wants to keep everyone safe. When I arrived, Mellie was, as usual, in time-out (in a pack-and-play) and started screaming bloody murder when she saw me. Ms. Betty picked her up and handed her to me through the split door. Another parent was arriving, and I told Ms. Betty is was Alaina's dad. She told me she wanted to talk to me AFTER he left with Alaina. So, I held Mellie and chatted with Alaina's dad while we discussed which one our children was meaner to the other babies. Once he had Mellie and talked to Ms. Betty about her day, he took Alaina and left. Ms. Betty opened the door for me and let me in. I happened to have brought Mellie's most recent photo book for Ms. Betty and her assistant, Ms. CeCe to check out, so I handed it to Ms. Betty. She took it and directed me to Ms. CeCe, who speaks better English and was in the kitchen.
Before I continue, let me give you some back information. Mellie likes to pull hair. Ronnie used to "let" her pull his hair because he liked how it felt. I have asked him to stop as this behavior has become a huge problem. I don't like how it feels and I generally keep my hair pulled back at all times to decrease her access to my hair. Honestly, I'd like to cut it short again, but I'm afraid if I do I won't be able to pull it back and Mellie will have full access to my hair. Ouch! In fact, when I say "ouch!" when she pulls my hair, her usual response is to laugh. I've been told on multiple occasions that Mellie likes to pull other children's hair and that is usually the reason why she is in time-out. She has also grabbed children's hair with both hands and bounced their heads up and down. I have been very concerned about this behavior, and have spent a lot of time researching how to address negative behaviors in young toddlers. I hadn't really found anything useful.
Anyhow, Ms. CeCe tells me that Mellie pulled Alaina's hair today, and then proceeds to show me not one, but TWO locks of hair that Mellie pulled out of Alaina's head by the roots. I gasped. Mellie has so little hair (I have always suspected she likes to pull hair because she doesn't have much herself) and I couldn't imagine how upset I would be if someone did that to Mellie. Ms. CeCe told me that they decided to not tell Alaina's parents. I had mixed feelings about that. I was glad that they weren't advertising my child's bad behavior, but I also understood how upset I would be if that had happened to Mellie and I wasn't told. It's Ms. Betty's business and livelihood, so I figure it is her decision to make and I will respect that. Ms. CeCe also told me she has pulled Paisley's hair out, but not as much. This did not surprise me. The reports I hear on her hair pulling are frequently centered around Paisley. (See my blog post -- BFF or Nemesis for more on Mellie's relationship with Paisley.
Mellie was getting fussy, so I put her down to play. She had her little lunch bag that she likes to carry around, and Paisley had come over to check it out. She liked the little flower pull on the zipper, and tried to touch it, but Mellie got mad and snatched it from her. In an attempt to show Mellie how to share, I took the bag away from her and handed it to Paisley. Bad move. This made Mellie mad, and she proceeded to grab Paisley by the - you guessed it - hair. Paisley started crying (with good reason). Mellie started crying because I made her look at me while I told her that was not acceptable behavior. We left shortly after that, and I have since decided that she should not be allowed to have her beloved lunch bag at day care any longer.
I was very disturbed by this incident. So disturbed, I called her pediatrician, Dr. Scott, the following day and talked to the nurse. The nurse talked to Dr. Scott and called me back. Dr. Scott had told the nurse that it was probably "self-stimulatory" and she should be told "no" and then distracted with a toy or another activity. I shouldn't make too big a deal about it because she learns she can get attention from it, even if it is negative. I expressed puzzlement to the nurse regarding the "self-stimulatory" nature of the behavior. The nurse realized that Dr. Scott had probably misunderstood and thought Mellie was pulling her own hair. She told me she would talk to Dr. Scott again and call me back. Which she did, and Dr. Scott had, indeed misunderstood. She told me the response should be the same. However, she added that Mellie can be separated from the child for brief periods as well. I related all this information to Ms. CeCe as this behavior manifests mostly at day care.
Since Thursday, I have gotten mostly positive reports regarding Mellie's behavior. But, I don't think this is the end of the story. If anyone has any brilliant ideas or experience with this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know. For the sake of Alaina and Paisley's hair.....
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Mellie goes to the ER
So last night (Wednesday, October 5), Mellie had her first trip to the Emergency Room. Fortunately, she was not the patient, her Daddy was. Ronnie is slightly accident prone, and trips to the ER for him are not uncommon.
Here's what Ronnie tells me happened (note that I did not witness anything, I heard it, but by the time I turned around, it was over). Ronnie says that he stepped on one of Mellie's toys (one of the little shapes that fits into a large hollow ball with slots for each shape - she likes to carry the little shapes around rather than fit them into the ball). His other foot was in a puddle of water (see previous posts about Mellie and the Water Bowl part 1 and part 2). So, he grabbed a chair to catch himself. Unfortunately, the chair had wheels so down to the ground he went. This was on the hard tile floor. By the time I got to him, he was on the ground, in the corner of our breakfast room, body tangled around a large office chair.
He was alive, there was no blood, and he appeared to be able to move. Honestly, I didn't know what to do. Mellie had witnessed the whole thing and was screaming bloody murder. Ronnie wasn't sure if he could get up. I asked him if he needed me to call an ambulance. He insisted that he did not and expressed concern that he might have broken his arm. Again. In Ronnie's defense, he has a strange bone issue in his arm. You know how a normal person's forearm has two thin bones that connect from the wrist to the elbow? Well, on his right arm, one of those two bones gets wide and hollow. As a result, he cannot turn his arm all the way over like most people can. And, since it is hollow, it breaks pretty easily. He wasn't sure if he would be able to get up as he required two arms to do so. And, he reported he was experiencing back pain. He has a long history of back problems. His back was the first thing I worried about when I realized he had fallen. I finally picked Mellie up as I didn't know what I could do to help Ronnie. It took me quite a while to calm her down. Seeing Daddy fall had clearly upset her.
Somehow, he managed to get up off the ground. We put an ice pack on his arm, which was clearly swollen, and gave him one of my extended release Aleves. I asked him if he wanted me to take him to the ER. He reported he didn't need to go, he wanted to wait and see what happened. I told him if this was like the last time, if he woke me up at 3 am to go to the ER I would not be taking him to the ER. About ten minutes later, he admitted that we needed to go. Fortunately, Mellie had already had her last serving of milk and dinner for the night. I grabbed some socks and shoes for her along with a blanket (hospitals are always cold). I got the baby, her supplies, and Ronnie with an ice pack into the car. He wanted to go to the local Memorial Hermann, so off we went. We have always had a good experience there.
During the drive there, we discussed our options regarding Mellie. Ronnie wanted to find someone to watch her, but I was like who could we call that could just take her right now? I was concerned they wouldn't even let her into the hospital, and if we stayed in the waiting room, I expressed my concern that we might be asked to leave. We discussed the option of going across the street to HEB or even taking her home and then coming back to pick Ronnie up, but I wanted to be more supportive than that, plus I would hate to have him have to wait for me to get there.
When we got there, the waiting room was PACKED. I put Mellie's shoes on and tentatively put her down. She immediately attempted to climb up on the chair next to me. I helped her up, put her blanket on her lap, gave her a sippy cup with Gatorade and a little wooden block puzzle. I was amazed at how long she actually sat there calmly, playing with her puzzle and then her blanket. While she was sitting there, a little boy who had hit his head was crying. His parents kept taking him outside when he was upset. The mom would have to come inside to wash his paci. I finally offered a pack of pacifier wipes that I don't use as Mellie doesn't use a paci. His mother declined politely. I also offered to have Mellie "play" with him, but she thanked me for my thoughtfulness and told me she thought it was probably his head hurting.
Eventually, Mellie climbed down. She tentatively started exploring this new environment. Initially, she kept on going up to the check-in desk with Ms. Carolyn (who had checked Ronnie in). Mellie had already charmed her, and Ms. Carolyn always made a point to talk to Mellie when she came over, even when Ms. Carolyn was busy. Then, Mellie decided to walk ALL the way down a long hall. I stayed some distance behind her as I didn't think she would turn down the hall where she couldn't see me anymore. I was mistaken. I ran down the hall so I could see her again and let her explore the new area. We came to some doors that she couldn't open, and I convinced her to go back to the waiting room where all the action was going on. Around this time, she charmed the security guy who admitted he had two little girls at home, and she was at such a "fun" age.
Next, she wandered over to the vending machines. To do this, she passed the automatic doors, which registered her presence and opened, which startled her. She stopped, stood still, and watched. Then, the doors closed. This freaked her out and she hurried past the doors to the vending machines. There was a coke machine on the outside, and a snack machine in the corner. She wasn't terribly interested in the snack machine, but the big red coke machine fascinated her. She quickly discovered the change dispenser, and stuck her hand in. Then, pulled it out. The stuck her hand in. And pulled it out. It was at about this time, we attracted the attention of a boy around 10-12 years old. He watched Mellie over the back of his chair, and giggled as she kept sticking her hand in and out of the vending machine. After a couple of times of this, she would head back, but wind up passing the automatic doors, which would cause her to hurry back to the vending machine. Where she would again repeatedly stick her hand in and out of the machine. Clearly, she was looking for spare change. Maybe to buy Mommy a present? Or Daddy a get well card?
I had been keeping an eye on this boy and his older sister since our arrival. When we arrived, it was him (you know, I never got his name), his sister, his mother, and his brother, and his baby sister. His mother and brother eventually went back into the ER, leaving he and his sister to care for the baby sister (nine months old). I was impressed with how well they took care of her, and how well behaved they all were, even without the mother present.
So, we all banded together. The boy was fascinated with Mellie, and I felt the need to help them with their little sister as well as keep an eye on them in their mother's absence. After they took Ronnie back for X-Rays, I moved all of our stuff over by them. They had not brought any toys for their baby, so I fished out a couple that would be age appropriate that Mellie wouldn't play with and gave them to the kids to give to the baby. She LOVED the toys. Unfortunately, shortly after she started playing with them, Hurricane Mellie arrived and, recognizing her own toys, unceremoniously snatched them from the poor unsuspecting baby and left them somewhere else. Once Mellie was occupied, I picked the toys up and returned them to the grateful baby. Fortunately, Mellie never seemed to notice that the baby had her toys again.
It was about at this time that Ronnie came back from X-Ray. He sat down next to me, and I forgot to warn him about the cup of water sitting by the diaper bag. So, it was quickly knocked over. Worried about wet floor in the vicinity of my accident prone husband, I dug in our diaper bag for something to clean it up, preferably a cloth diaper or burp cloth. No matter how often I put both of those items IN the diaper bag, they never seem to be around when I need one. Too lazy to go all the way to the bathroom to get some paper towels, I used Mellie's blanket. However, I failed to take into account the fact that Mellie had been carrying her blanket around, and the fact that it was now sopping wet would not deter her desire to carry it around. I hung it off the back of the vinyl chair I was sitting in, but Mellie quickly spotted it and insisted on carrying it around. Once she had lost interest in it, I hid it behind me, only for her to rediscover it when I got up to do something. Note to self: do not use blankets to clean up spilled water in the future. Get the darn paper towels out of the bathroom.
Several times throughout the night, Mellie approached the automatic doors. On her last encounter, she decided to try to go through the doors, only to freeze and reconsider once in between the door. After a period of no movement, the doors attempted to close. Yes, on my daughter. Fortunately, they sensed her at the last moment because I simply couldn't get to her fast enough. She wasn't interested in the doors much after that, and besides, it wasn't much longer before we left.
Nearing the end of our adventure, a little boy in a football uniform and equipment came in with his mother, holding his arm at the elbow. Ronnie gave the little boy one of his ice packs. Shortly after his arrival, the boy's father and two younger brothers arrived (in their matching pajamas!). As soon as those boys arrived, Mellie made a b-line over to where they were. I went after her. I caught up to her just as she arrived to the boys, and just before I snatched her up, the father attempted to herd her along with his boys! As I grabbed her, he laughed, telling me he thought she was one of his children (despite the lack of any girls). She maintained her curiosity about the boys for the remainder of our visit. They left at about the same time we did. Mellie is chasing boys already!
All in all, I was surprised at how well Mellie did. I thought for sure she would be a maniac and the hospital would ask us to leave, but they didn't. She charmed everyone, and made several friends. Ronnie reported that the x-rays all looked good, and he didn't have any broken bones. The leads to his stimulator for his back were still in place. They sent him home with pain medication, and didn't even recommend a follow-up visit with his doctor. I'm sure this will be the first of many ER adventures for Hurricane Mellie.
Here's what Ronnie tells me happened (note that I did not witness anything, I heard it, but by the time I turned around, it was over). Ronnie says that he stepped on one of Mellie's toys (one of the little shapes that fits into a large hollow ball with slots for each shape - she likes to carry the little shapes around rather than fit them into the ball). His other foot was in a puddle of water (see previous posts about Mellie and the Water Bowl part 1 and part 2). So, he grabbed a chair to catch himself. Unfortunately, the chair had wheels so down to the ground he went. This was on the hard tile floor. By the time I got to him, he was on the ground, in the corner of our breakfast room, body tangled around a large office chair.
He was alive, there was no blood, and he appeared to be able to move. Honestly, I didn't know what to do. Mellie had witnessed the whole thing and was screaming bloody murder. Ronnie wasn't sure if he could get up. I asked him if he needed me to call an ambulance. He insisted that he did not and expressed concern that he might have broken his arm. Again. In Ronnie's defense, he has a strange bone issue in his arm. You know how a normal person's forearm has two thin bones that connect from the wrist to the elbow? Well, on his right arm, one of those two bones gets wide and hollow. As a result, he cannot turn his arm all the way over like most people can. And, since it is hollow, it breaks pretty easily. He wasn't sure if he would be able to get up as he required two arms to do so. And, he reported he was experiencing back pain. He has a long history of back problems. His back was the first thing I worried about when I realized he had fallen. I finally picked Mellie up as I didn't know what I could do to help Ronnie. It took me quite a while to calm her down. Seeing Daddy fall had clearly upset her.
Somehow, he managed to get up off the ground. We put an ice pack on his arm, which was clearly swollen, and gave him one of my extended release Aleves. I asked him if he wanted me to take him to the ER. He reported he didn't need to go, he wanted to wait and see what happened. I told him if this was like the last time, if he woke me up at 3 am to go to the ER I would not be taking him to the ER. About ten minutes later, he admitted that we needed to go. Fortunately, Mellie had already had her last serving of milk and dinner for the night. I grabbed some socks and shoes for her along with a blanket (hospitals are always cold). I got the baby, her supplies, and Ronnie with an ice pack into the car. He wanted to go to the local Memorial Hermann, so off we went. We have always had a good experience there.
During the drive there, we discussed our options regarding Mellie. Ronnie wanted to find someone to watch her, but I was like who could we call that could just take her right now? I was concerned they wouldn't even let her into the hospital, and if we stayed in the waiting room, I expressed my concern that we might be asked to leave. We discussed the option of going across the street to HEB or even taking her home and then coming back to pick Ronnie up, but I wanted to be more supportive than that, plus I would hate to have him have to wait for me to get there.
When we got there, the waiting room was PACKED. I put Mellie's shoes on and tentatively put her down. She immediately attempted to climb up on the chair next to me. I helped her up, put her blanket on her lap, gave her a sippy cup with Gatorade and a little wooden block puzzle. I was amazed at how long she actually sat there calmly, playing with her puzzle and then her blanket. While she was sitting there, a little boy who had hit his head was crying. His parents kept taking him outside when he was upset. The mom would have to come inside to wash his paci. I finally offered a pack of pacifier wipes that I don't use as Mellie doesn't use a paci. His mother declined politely. I also offered to have Mellie "play" with him, but she thanked me for my thoughtfulness and told me she thought it was probably his head hurting.
Eventually, Mellie climbed down. She tentatively started exploring this new environment. Initially, she kept on going up to the check-in desk with Ms. Carolyn (who had checked Ronnie in). Mellie had already charmed her, and Ms. Carolyn always made a point to talk to Mellie when she came over, even when Ms. Carolyn was busy. Then, Mellie decided to walk ALL the way down a long hall. I stayed some distance behind her as I didn't think she would turn down the hall where she couldn't see me anymore. I was mistaken. I ran down the hall so I could see her again and let her explore the new area. We came to some doors that she couldn't open, and I convinced her to go back to the waiting room where all the action was going on. Around this time, she charmed the security guy who admitted he had two little girls at home, and she was at such a "fun" age.
Next, she wandered over to the vending machines. To do this, she passed the automatic doors, which registered her presence and opened, which startled her. She stopped, stood still, and watched. Then, the doors closed. This freaked her out and she hurried past the doors to the vending machines. There was a coke machine on the outside, and a snack machine in the corner. She wasn't terribly interested in the snack machine, but the big red coke machine fascinated her. She quickly discovered the change dispenser, and stuck her hand in. Then, pulled it out. The stuck her hand in. And pulled it out. It was at about this time, we attracted the attention of a boy around 10-12 years old. He watched Mellie over the back of his chair, and giggled as she kept sticking her hand in and out of the vending machine. After a couple of times of this, she would head back, but wind up passing the automatic doors, which would cause her to hurry back to the vending machine. Where she would again repeatedly stick her hand in and out of the machine. Clearly, she was looking for spare change. Maybe to buy Mommy a present? Or Daddy a get well card?
I had been keeping an eye on this boy and his older sister since our arrival. When we arrived, it was him (you know, I never got his name), his sister, his mother, and his brother, and his baby sister. His mother and brother eventually went back into the ER, leaving he and his sister to care for the baby sister (nine months old). I was impressed with how well they took care of her, and how well behaved they all were, even without the mother present.
So, we all banded together. The boy was fascinated with Mellie, and I felt the need to help them with their little sister as well as keep an eye on them in their mother's absence. After they took Ronnie back for X-Rays, I moved all of our stuff over by them. They had not brought any toys for their baby, so I fished out a couple that would be age appropriate that Mellie wouldn't play with and gave them to the kids to give to the baby. She LOVED the toys. Unfortunately, shortly after she started playing with them, Hurricane Mellie arrived and, recognizing her own toys, unceremoniously snatched them from the poor unsuspecting baby and left them somewhere else. Once Mellie was occupied, I picked the toys up and returned them to the grateful baby. Fortunately, Mellie never seemed to notice that the baby had her toys again.
It was about at this time that Ronnie came back from X-Ray. He sat down next to me, and I forgot to warn him about the cup of water sitting by the diaper bag. So, it was quickly knocked over. Worried about wet floor in the vicinity of my accident prone husband, I dug in our diaper bag for something to clean it up, preferably a cloth diaper or burp cloth. No matter how often I put both of those items IN the diaper bag, they never seem to be around when I need one. Too lazy to go all the way to the bathroom to get some paper towels, I used Mellie's blanket. However, I failed to take into account the fact that Mellie had been carrying her blanket around, and the fact that it was now sopping wet would not deter her desire to carry it around. I hung it off the back of the vinyl chair I was sitting in, but Mellie quickly spotted it and insisted on carrying it around. Once she had lost interest in it, I hid it behind me, only for her to rediscover it when I got up to do something. Note to self: do not use blankets to clean up spilled water in the future. Get the darn paper towels out of the bathroom.
Several times throughout the night, Mellie approached the automatic doors. On her last encounter, she decided to try to go through the doors, only to freeze and reconsider once in between the door. After a period of no movement, the doors attempted to close. Yes, on my daughter. Fortunately, they sensed her at the last moment because I simply couldn't get to her fast enough. She wasn't interested in the doors much after that, and besides, it wasn't much longer before we left.
Nearing the end of our adventure, a little boy in a football uniform and equipment came in with his mother, holding his arm at the elbow. Ronnie gave the little boy one of his ice packs. Shortly after his arrival, the boy's father and two younger brothers arrived (in their matching pajamas!). As soon as those boys arrived, Mellie made a b-line over to where they were. I went after her. I caught up to her just as she arrived to the boys, and just before I snatched her up, the father attempted to herd her along with his boys! As I grabbed her, he laughed, telling me he thought she was one of his children (despite the lack of any girls). She maintained her curiosity about the boys for the remainder of our visit. They left at about the same time we did. Mellie is chasing boys already!
All in all, I was surprised at how well Mellie did. I thought for sure she would be a maniac and the hospital would ask us to leave, but they didn't. She charmed everyone, and made several friends. Ronnie reported that the x-rays all looked good, and he didn't have any broken bones. The leads to his stimulator for his back were still in place. They sent him home with pain medication, and didn't even recommend a follow-up visit with his doctor. I'm sure this will be the first of many ER adventures for Hurricane Mellie.
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